Of course, most people come to therapy because something is wrong. They feel anxious, stuck, heartbroken, overwhelmed, or uncertain about what to do next.
But when therapy becomes focused only on problems, it can start to feel like a dreary place. Some people even begin to feel as though they need to keep finding new problems in order to continue benefiting from it.
Here’s the thing: a problem may be what brings you to therapy, but it does not have to be what keeps you there.
Once we begin to understand a problem and feel some movement around it, therapy can become a place to create movement in other areas of life too. It can help us explore not only what is bothering us, but what we want to build: our passions, relationships, dreams, purpose, and biggest goals.
Therapy has become synonymous with tears and fears, but it does not have to be a space only for pain. It can also be a place to set a course toward your North Star and work through the fear, shame, and self-doubt that arise along the way.
I often meet clients who initially believe they simply want relief from a particular problem. As our work develops, they begin to realize they want something more from life. They want to feel more creative, more connected, more confident, or more alive.
Sometimes the problem itself is a signal. It may be showing us that we are living out of alignment, ignoring an important desire, or avoiding a dream that feels too vulnerable to pursue.
Here are a few ways to use therapy differently:
- Talk about what you want to create.
If you are unsure what to discuss in a session, consider what you want more of in your life. - Look beneath the problem.
You do not need to search for more things that are wrong. Instead, notice what the struggle is making you believe about yourself, other people, or your future. - Make room for positive emotions.
Therapy is a safe place to cry, rage, grieve, and despair—and you should be allowed to do all of that. But it can also be a place where you laugh, dream, imagine, and create.
Therapy does not have to be only about fixing what is wrong. It can also help you move toward what feels exciting, meaningful, and alive.
